Sunday, September 12, 2010

Something Funny To Say On Facebook

1. Oh, the fat on my belly? Well that's just the protective covering for my rock hard abs.
2. The more you talk the more I realize why birth control was invented.
3. When life deals you a lemon... squeeze it in someones eye! You'll feel much better!!
4. Rather than cry me a river, I'd prefer you drown in one.
4. When life has got you down and you can't take any more you can away go to McDonalds and buy a Happy Meal.
5. thinks some people should pull their bottom lip up over their head and swallow :)
6. told her teddy bear all of her deep dark secrets. I miss him. Poor teddy, he knew too much.
7. I'm in shape. The last time i checked round is a shape.
8. Some say the glass is half empty, others say half full. I say are you gonna drink that?
9. Why wash dishes when you have dogs to lick them clean?
10. Remember, never do anything you'd hate to have to explain to Judge Judy.
11. says next time your parents give u sh*t 4 lying say 3 things, santa clause, easter bunny and tooth fairy.
12. wonders why eleven isn't just onety-one?
13. We're still friends after all this time and that just proves one thing! Our standards haven't gotten ANY higher!
14. My parents say I spend too much time on Facebook and should go outside. THANK GOD FOR LAPTOPS AND WIFI
15. I did have a wonderful life, before some stupid person told me about Facebook.
16. Keep sending me farmville requests and I will sacrifice your goats and burn down your barn!
17. Facebook: Airing out peoples dirty laundry since 2004.
18. The cops sent me a photo of my car running a red light. So to be fair, I sent them a photo of my check.
19. Husband and wife go past a field of sheep, goats, and pigs, the husband asks sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws"
20. Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.

3 comments on "Something Funny To Say On Facebook"

Anonymous said...

Hi - I am certainly delighted to find this. cool job!

Anonymous said...

LOL these are really very funny things for FB status.

Kirsty Courtnage on December 14, 2012 at 3:10 PM said...

Totally love this!


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